Foreigners Guide to Romance with Paisas - Medellin Advisors

Foreigners Guide to Romance with Paisas

Amor

Medellín is a city brimming with beautiful people. As the dating terrain in much of the ‘developed’ world continues to deteriorate, Medellín continues to shine as a beacon of light.

Although this is a great place to meet, date and even fill your heart with that special someone, it is important to understand the lay of the land. Without the right knowledge, your heart and/or wallet may be taken for a ride. In this article, we will cover why Medellín may be the right place for you, what to look out for, and the best means to meet your potential partner.

Depositphotos stock photo young multicultural couple celebrating event
The charms of the paisa woman can awaken the interest of any expatriate

Why are Paisas so Desirable?

The way I see it, there are three components to this answer:

  1. Dating is going downhill in many of our own countries
  2. Paisas are beautiful
  3. Generally speaking, these same women are approachable and friendly.

In the ‘developed’ world, we are living in a time where the dating market is getting harder and more bleak. In fact, the fertility rate in the US has halved from 3.7 in 1960 to 1.6 in 2020. According to data published by Pew Research Group, 75% of surveyed participants said that they were finding it ‘difficult to date’. Furthermore, another poll by the same researchers found that almost half of all Americans believe dating has gotten harder & more difficult in the last 10 years!

After digging around, it seems that by most metrics, the dating marketplace is characterized by dissatisfaction. This happens to coincide with a growth in men going abroad in search of love.

Chief amongst those places is none other than Medellín, Colombia. In the 7 years I have been coming to the city, I have observed a notable increase in international relationships between Paisas and foreigners.

Picnicflotante medellin phtezd fobofoumqyeyhfsrcymrkqihz w
The future of the dating marketplace in the US and other similar nations is not looking good.

A Demand for Quality Foreign Men

  • Foreign men are still exotic
  • We are perceived as educated and cultured
  • The average height of men abroad is typically taller and as we know, women like taller men (average height of a Colombian male is 172cm).
  • We are perceived to be good providers as we come from countries with more developed economies.

As foreigners in this city, we have a lot going for us. However, this does not give us a free pass to be sloppy or let our standards slip. Rather, Paisas, or Colombians in general, are highly perceptive and are known for their rigorous grooming.

Many Paisas I know make it a habit to wash at least 2x a day and brush their teeth 3x. Furthermore, regular visits to the nail salon and hairdresser are all signs that they take their appearances seriously. Their physical beauty is very important to them; you’ll be hard stretched to find a Paisa leave their house without having meticulously considered their appearance.

Again, without being too provocative, I’ve found that women in Medellín tend to embrace their femininity more than back home, both physically and mentally. Part of this is that they are very approachable. 

Don't get Complacent! Make an Effort When it Comes to your Appearance

Appearances are important in Medellín. For good or bad, people will judge you based on the way you carry yourself. In my experience, women don’t like a man to look scruffy and demand that their men keep their bodily hairs in check! Back home, body hair is much less a turn-off.

When it comes to clothing, you’ll need to compete with local men. Notice how you’ll rarely see them sporting shorts, and God forbid flip-flops!

Whilst these demands exists throughout much of the world, they are especially important here. Society is highly divided by class and appearances are an integral way in which people reflect this.

Regardless of class though, people take their looks seriously.

I personally have no problem with that, and if you also appreciate the thorough grooming of the local women, then neither should you!

Ncylrrravfdnd ouxvlie
In Colombia people tend to be more affectionate than in other countries. Couples tend to give each other gifts frequently

As I say, it is normal for people to shower multiple times a day and brush one’s teeth more than twice. It won’t take long for you to notice that on average, people’s teeth are flawless. In the UK, braces are associated with the awkward teenage phase, but here they are a common sight amongst people of all ages. People like to keep up with appearances.

I’ve asked various women what they think of Europeans in comparison to North Americans. I’ve been told more than once that they associate some of us with foul odours. To our defence, I believe that is because a lot of us coming this far (cross-continental) are doing so as part of a rustic travel itinerary (backpackers).

But we have GOT to shed that reputation!

Finding true love in Medellín is not too hard of an endeavour. A prerequisite though is that we make an effort with our looks. Hygiene and style are non-negotiable!

Higiene hombre
In Colombia, personal hygiene is very important for successful dating

Tinder & Dating Apps

Unlike in the US or other English-speaking countries, Tinder is not yet the primary means in which people search for love.

That is not to say that it is not a popular platform; Colombia is the fifth strongest driver of traffic to the platform in Central & South America.

Data shows that 0.98% of Tinder’s traffic share comes from Colombia with over 11 million swipes made every day!

So yes, Tinder is alive and well here in Colombia.

But does that mean it is the best way to find love in Medellín?

As the footprint of foreigners has grown in recent years, Tinder’s standing has become increasingly ridiculed.

The reason for this is that although there are ‘good’ women looking for love, they are contending with prostitutes and other women that are a bit more nefarious in their motives.

For this reason, you need to be vigilant when using Tinder. It has emerged as a popular means of drugging and robbing unsuspecting men.

finding love and romance in Medellin
Women in Medellín are known world-wide for their looks!

Scopolamine, a nightmare drug used predominately in Colombia, is not something you want to be exposed to. It will render you completely suggestible and is therefore an effective way of robbing victims; something that is often mediated via Tinder.

Click here if you want to read more about this phenomenon. The goal of this post is not to scare you but to rather impart information that can decide the difference between success and tragedy. Knowledge is power!

With that being said, you should not disregard Tinder. You simply need to know how to navigate it. Tinder, or dating applications in general, are a powerful tool to have in one’s repertoire when searching for love in Medellín.

Speaking from experience, I have met some incredible, beautiful women on this app and am not alone in doing so. Many long-term relationships are indebted to Tinder but more than not, this application is used for more casual encounters. That’s not a bad thing however you should have it in mind if looking for something a bit more profound. Also, bear in mind that if you meet a girl on Tinder, you’re likely to not be have been the first foreigner that has done so. Again, not bad but something to be aware of.

Interesadas and other Types of Women to be Aware Of

An interesada is a gold-digger. They are prevalent in Colombia and seem to gravitate towards the perceived wealth of foreigners, which is understandable given the increased purchasing power of men coming from economically developed countries.

Is an interesada/gold-digger a bad thing? That’s up for you to decide. What is important is that you know what you are getting into. Don’t let yourself find out the hard way as I once did.

I actually think many women get a bad press. The line between a gold-digger and a ‘normal’ woman is nebulous. Gender roles are preserved in Medellín. As such, women do expect men to provide financial stability and many like to feel spoiled.

Putas expats
Some expatriates promote sex tourism for girls in Medellín. The government are implying legal actions in response.

Does that make them an interesada? These same women know that a relationship is about giving and receiving. If you look after them, they generally know how to reciprocate.

There are women that seek us out for material benefit and so that does make them more clearly defined as interesadas. However, even they know that it takes two to tango. In my opinion, if you are aware of the deal and willing to oblige, then what is the problem?

Falling into the arms of an interesada is potentially a bad thing you’re unaware of it; it could be rather expensive! Not everyone has the resources to satisfy their demands…

Love in Medellin
Interesadas aren't necessarily always bad... but you should be aware of them and the dynamic they entail.

Finding The Right Crowd

One of your best bets for finding love or partners in Medellín is by simply going about your business. It sounds perverse, right? If we aren’t being proactive, surely we’ll slip through the cracks?.

No, what I mean is that you should get involved within the community; pursue your interests. If you like tennis, go join a club. If you’re feeling philanthropic, get involved with social work (we have recommendations). Language exchanges are also a fantastic way to meet people looking to better themselves.

Sounds cliche, but be the best version of yourself and the right individuals will cross your path.

Love in Medellin
The best way to meet women is to get stuck into different activities that interest you.

There are two ways getting involved in activities is so effective as a means of meeting a partner:

  1. Women also like to go about their interests. Meeting somebody within the context of a common interest sets you up in the right direction; you’ll immediately have common ground. Ever heard the quote, “love does not consist in gazing at each other but looking together in the same direction”?
  2. You’ll make friends. This is imperative as these friends will likely to introduce you to their social circles. This is a great way to meet women as you’ll both be socially verified/vetted.

With regards to meeting women while partying. We wouldn’t recommend it for long-term partners!

Things That Will Help You

We’ve already covered the importance of hygiene and presentation.

Equally important is to have some (at the very least) knowledge of Spanish. Although the proficiency of English amongst Colombians is improving, the vast majority do not speak it.

Yes, you could always look for somebody that does but you’ll be decimating your pool of potential partners.

Try to avoid the service of Señor Google (translation). It may be a God-send, but it is not conducive for nurturing romance. 

love in medellin

I have seen international relationships in which there was no common language, and they do sometimes work. This is especially true if the man is bringing a lot to the relationship.

Having said that, in most cases, a lack of Spanish is going to be a barrier.

Don’t fret though, you don’t need to a lingo-champion to make ends meet. Make an effort, perhaps get some lessons. The good thing about Medellín is that it is one of the best places to learn Spanish. People here are very patient and the accent is relatively easy to understand.

Another good idea is to get involved in one of the many language exchanges available throughout the city. One such example is Gringo Tuesdays over at Vintrash (Provenza).

Gringo tuesday medellin
Gringo Tuesdays are ideal gatherings to learn Spanish and meet local people.

Beautiful People are Everywhere

This is usually a pleasant surprise to foreigners coming to Medellín; beautiful women can be found everywhere, working in coffee shops, in reception, or whatever it may be.

They are in abundance. Generally speaking, if you frequent an establishment, it’s likely you’ll be interacting with the same people. If your interactions are positive then don’t be shy in trying your luck. In many cases, they’ll give you encouraging signs such as eye contact, a nice smile etc.

Csseezhpmlopqfbv kvqjwpq jri esfiurmua
Beautiful women are often seen day-to-day working hard in all types of establishments. If you frequent these zones then you'll be able to build a profile!
Our guide to finding love in medellin
Sometimes, as in this case, women will make the move! This was at a dental clinic.

If you recognise these playful signs then there’s no harm in respectfully asking for a number. Treat them to a date!

The good thing about these women is that they are typically hard, honest workers, as evidenced by their commitment to their job.

Some Recommendations to Keep you Safe and Avoid Disappointment.

  • If you go out with someone local and they ask you for money to be with you, set off the alarm bells. Real relationships go beyond local economic problems. If your relationship is genuine, it’s normal to help your partner financially, but if you see a special interest in getting easy money, it may not be the right relationship. Having said that, some people are happy with this dynamic. For this reason, awareness is key!
 
  • If you are dating a local person whom you don’t know well enough yet, never take them to your hotel or to the place where you currently live, so you avoid giving papaya and exposing yourself to greater risk.  Most cases of robbery or scopolamine scam occur because of misplaced trust.
 
  • Do not promote prostitution in Medellín. If you want to pay for sex it is your personal decision. But be careful in doing so. The government doesn’t want more sex tourists and promises sanctions against foreigners who promote sexual exploitation. So they might even cancel your visa and invite you to leave the country or, worse, deport you.

In Medellín there are great possibilities to meet special people everywhere, but you have to find yourself in the right place. Dating, friendships and social life will be a consequence of your actions. If you are authentic, receptive and respectful of the local culture, you could soon find your Colombian soul mate.

Conclusions

As the prospect of dating in the US and similar countries continues to look ever bleaker, we are observing a growth in the phenomenon of people looking abroad.

Medellín is one such destination, and with good reason.

The women here really are as beautiful and friendly as they say. More importantly, we as foreigners have a lot going for us. It doesn’t take a lot to see results, but there are some things I have observed in my time that prove me wrong.

Follow the tips provided within this guide and the results will come. Finding love is never far from reach and in essence, the basic principles apply. There are some things in particular to be aware of however. 

 

Questions, comments? Contact me today and I will be happy to discuss any of these issues further with you. 

 

Join The Discussion

Compare listings

Compare
Logo

Useful advice? Subscribe to our monthly newsletter. 

One email per month about the latest in Medellin relating to news, daily life, investing, and local events. 

**tu email es nuestro secreto sagrado, nunca lo compartiremos con nadie**

Click to chat!